Sometimes using Tinder can feel like a repetitive cycle. You keep swiping through an endless sea of faces, but no real connections get made. If you’re a guy who’s had bad luck on Tinder for a while, consider it a sign that you need to switch up your game and try a few new tactics.
The good news is, you can always fine-tune your approach. And it’s actually pretty easy to turn your mindless swiping into real matches by just paying a little bit more attention to the details. If you’re not getting any matches there are things you can do to help yourself out, and if you’re not getting replies to messages, there are small tweaks you can make to get a girl chatting in no time.
Here are a few Tinder tips for guys from a girl who cares:
Ditch the selfie but have a photo of your face.
Here’s a piece of dating advice based on data that not a lot of people know, women who use selfies on their dating profile get great results but guys, not so much. (Typically, guys who use selfies in their dating profile get 8% fewer messages than the average.) But since the initial connection is made based off your photos on an app like Tinder, you still need a good shot of your face. Group pictures can be deceiving, and a lady might swipe right by you rather than having to take the time to figure out which one of those dudes in suits is the owner of this profile. So getting a good headshot is key.If you don’t have a good photo that a friend’s taken, here’s a trick—use the timer on your phone to take something.
Pick other great photos.
Too many guys have photos of their cars, trucks, or motorcycles on their Tinder profile. We get it, your car is something you’re proud of and there’s nothing wrong with that. Women love their cars too, it’s not just a guy thing. But you’ve only got a few photos to make a first impression—do you really want to waste one on your car? Woman want to know who you are, not what you drive. That also applies to the fish you’ve caught and any poses with weapons (pictures with guns can easily be taken the wrong way). Remember, you’re trying to impress a woman, not another man. So choose photos that tell a story that will appeal to her.
Share about yourself.
A bio that reads “Just ask” is not giving us a lot of incentive to swipe right. You can be super hot, but if you have nothing to say about yourself, that makes you look boring. Don’t be intimidated by coming up with a bio—you don’t need to write your whole life story, but you should give us a reason to want to know more about you. Talk about your favorite things to do, your ideal Friday night, or what you nerd out about the most. You can ask a friend who’s a girl to help you craft the ideal bio or check out some of these Tinder profile examples for some inspiration.
Don’t be negative.
An informal poll of this writer’s female friends brought up the most aggravating issue we run into when looking at guys on Tinder. There’s a certain kind of bio that lists all the things a dude DOESN’T want in a woman, or his Tinder pet peeves. Maybe you’ve been hurt before, or you’re sick of matches on Tinder who just want to chat forever without meeting up, and you think that being proactive and protective of yourself is the way to go. But when you put something like “No drama please,” or “I’m not here to write novels back and forth,” to us, it comes across as you being picky and negative. That’s not a good first impression.
You might think that’s a no-brainer, but really, courtesy is underused on Tinder. Don’t ask if we are DTF or talk about sex immediately. Tinder may have started out with a reputation as a hookup app, but it’s evolved into a complex dating platform. If you’re only there for casual sex, and you find someone else who makes it clear in their profile that that’s their jam too, great! You still need to open the conversation with some basic decency. If you’re operating off the assumption that you can start a conversation off any other way, you’re not treating us very well.
Try a little bit.
An opening message of “hey” isn’t very interesting. It doesn’t take a lot of time to look at our profile and craft something a little more personalized. Comment on our wildest photo, or ask about what we wrote in our profile. If you don’t want to go to that much effort, you can do something as simple as asking, “What’s the best movie you’ve seen recently?” Trying a little bit can make a big difference.
Taking it too seriously can ruin anyone’s Tinder experience. If you set out with good intentions and a good outlook, you’re bound to have luck eventually. Whether you’re there for a hookup or looking for something long-term, treat us well and trust that being kind makes you a true catch.