How exciting is it to finally move from sending messages from an online dating app to an actual date? (I know, super exciting). Follow these simple steps and you are good to go on getting your first fantastic date.
Are you feeling worn out and sickened by online dating? Do not quit just yet, there is good news. You are suffering from online dating burnout (online dating fatigue) which as a matter of fact can be recovered from. These steps will help you get back from feeling annoyed, afraid (of) or even unsatisfied with online dating.
Obvious, plain and sometimes inappropriate messages are part of the reason you are not enthusiastic about online dating anymore and it’s okay to feel that way since there is nothing interesting anymore. That is exactly the reason why you need to follow these steps to get you back on top of your game.
The stress of getting a guy to ask you to a real date is just too frustrating. Worse case, you have been going on dates every night that end up bearing no fruits. It’s hard enough that you are dealing with blank messages in your inbox, you also keep meeting guys that don’t pique your interest.
All these are symptoms you are having online dating burnout, the good news is that these steps will get you back on track and also get you to enjoy online dating with the people you like and not just anyone who sends you a message.
First Step is To Have a List
This list is going to contain names of people you like from the first look of their profiles while you are scrolling through. Where you write these names is entirely up to you since you have a number of options; on your notebook, your phone’s notebook (to do list) or how about you like their accounts (easy right?). Your list should be long enough since you don’t have to be picky because this list is general so keep your options open.
Have you ever signed up to one of these online dating apps, browse through all the profiles and not get a single person to send a message to? Yes, that is online dating fatigue right there.
The list is going to be very useful to you. You will only contact the people on your list and this will save you a lot of time and headaches. Having decided everyone you want to connect with is just the first step to getting yourself a real date.
Each week choose a number of people you want to contact. Send them messages and give them a week and by extension two more days to reply. If you don’t get replies from the first bunch of messages, cancel those people’s names from your list and send new messages to other people. In the meantime, keep adding to your list. This will ensure you always have someone new you to engage with, this can be very exciting which will ensure you don’t get online dating burnout.
Most women will feel uncomfortable to reach out to men first (which can be understood due to stereotypes). As uneasy and uncomfortable as it feels, make the first move and get that guy to talk to you.
These are the advantages of making the first move:
- It is your choice who you talk to instead of waiting for people to contact you first (which you end up dismissing since none meet your expectation).
- After sending messages to your potentials (the ones on the list), you have a better chance of getting an amazing person. Let’s face it, the more people you talk to the greater chances you have of finding the right person.
- Making the first move is an indication that you are interested in that particular person and they will respond to you faster and with enthusiasm.
Most people feel bad when they do not get replies from their potentials and some actually give up on reaching out since they think it’s personal. Don’t stress over it, it probably has nothing to do with you and again you will never find out so why waste your time dwelling on it? Be confident in yourself and keep making contact with other people until you come across who you are looking for.
The Second Step Is Making It Personal
Finally, you find someone that appeals to you and you are feeling some type of way about them. You have been in contact with them for some time and you can safely say you trust them. It is time to make it a bit personal. Look for a nice yet laid-back way of telling the person that you are ready to take things to your email. Come up with a creative text like;
“It has been really nice talking with you and if you wouldn’t mind I would like to be talking to you more often. How about you give me your email so we can effortlessly reach each other?”
Moving from the site inbox to an email will make the experience more personal. This will prevent either of you from talking to other people from the site since you are giving your time and concentration to each other. The perfect time to ask for the phone number is at this second stage, you two have connected more than you had from the site and the level of trust and excitement is usually high at this very stage.
Every woman loves to be pursued and therefore the man, in this case, has to chase after the woman a little, make her feel wanted and admired. As a man, be the first to ask for her phone number and if she is reluctant to give you, suggest that you give her yours and she can always contact you whenever she is comfortable. This will show the woman that you have taken charge and make it clear that you are looking forward to something more with her.
After you both finally decide to move from email, it is okay to decide what works for you better (phone calls or text messages). It is good to discuss which method works better for both of you so as not to inconvenience each other. The first phone call is a must though because it will make you two more familiar to each other. Communication is paramount to keep the trust and the interest alive.
The Final Step Is to Call Them
Calling is always great when two people are in the process of knowing each other ( Am not saying texting is whack), in fact, texting and calling become an amazing combination when you two actually start dating.
Talking on the phone is the best way to study a person, the way they are talking to you, the way they address you, how they answer questions and in general how they think. Someone can hide behind messages and pretend to be something and someone they are not. Phone conversations will give you a direction, whether to go on a date with this person or they will be a waste of your time?
After talking for a while and knowing each other you will be so comfortable with that particular person, it will seem as if you have known them longer. Make sure you seek to ask some simple yet important questions to see how comfortable you guys are getting and measure whether you are ready for an actual date.
Every single person wants to be loved and love back. Dating is such an essential part of a relationship, so do it right. Keep dating until you find your right match, do not even think of giving up. Love finds those who seek it right? So go for it and you will definitely get it. These simple steps will help you with getting rid of that online dating burnout and get you up on your feet. Keep it fun and exciting all the time and remember never settle for less.