We spoke to five young singles out there who are on dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid, Hot or Not and Woo or have used them before. We asked them what are the lame questions they’re tired of being asked there. And not much to our surprise, the responses we got were very similar.
It’s time people, stop asking these effing questions, for Christ’s sake.
Hey, what’s up?
This is sadly, the most boring and annoying beginning to any conversation. If a user of any dating app was given a dollar for every time they were asked this question, they’d be super rich pretty soon. #NoKidding
How are you?
For real? What response can really be expected to this question except for “I’m good, what about you?” It is an instant conversation killer and the worst opening possible.
Can you send me more photos?
Creeeepy alert! Most apps allow you to put up to 6 photographs on your profile, which should be enough to decide who you find attractive. In spite of this, almost every user on these apps will admit to being asked this question, at least once. Looking at more photos will not change the way he/she looks.
You look so good. Why are you doing on a dating app?
Duh! If “why are you single” didn’t cut it, there are people to make our lives miserable by asking this. Well, guess what, men and women don’t judge when you’re fish in the same lake.
What are you looking for?
Won’t you get to know that eventually? But most people on dating apps would like it if you to spell it out to them. The responses they are looking for range from “to find the love of my life” to “good sex”. Yes, we understand that this question is essential, but perhaps if asked a different way, you’d get answers. How about sneak them into a proper conversation tactfully? That ain’t tough.
The copy-pasted message.
Most women have received the impersonal, hastily copy-pasted message before. These messages are usually incredibly generic, with maybe one or two fast facts about the sender (ex: “Hey, how are you? Quick note about me: I love Indian food and corgis.”) While you might think it’s a genius approach, we’re gonna let you in on a little secret: women can tell right away when they get this message.
If people took the time to fill out their biography and profile page, they will expect potential matches to do the same when messaging them!
The sexually explicit message.
Unless she specifically asks for one, sending a woman an explicit message via a dating app is never, ever a good idea. It almost always makes the recipient uncomfortable, and it makes you look like a horny doofus. Even if you’re on a dating app just to hook up, other people could be looking for something different, and it’s important that you respect that. Using explicit language, slurs, or generally being rude is only going to you blocked.
And of course, the cheesy pick-up lines
From “Did you get hurt when you fell from the sky?” to “Do you have a sunburn or are you this hot always?”, people, we spoke to, have seen all of this and much worse. Don’t ever begin with a pick-up line as lame as this, it’s best if you don’t use one at all.
How about I pin you to the ground?
Now, that’s really odd. This, and worse was said to the five singles we spoke to. Why on Earth would anyone ever ask that? And NO, it is not at all ok to do that. Dating apps never promised to keep the creeps away. They might ruin your entire experience of the app, but everyone’s not terrible, so keep at it.
So what’s the right way to go about this then? These five people would like to be asked more regular questions about themselves like their place of work or education, whether they’re a dog person or a cat person, their favourite food and drink and conversation that doesn’t die a painful death. Also, they advise users to actually read profiles, because more often than not, they give you an opening question right there. Don’t give up, and good luck.