All couples go through good and bad times and every couple has their smooth and rough rides at certain points of their relationship. It is always good to be positive and this means that not every fight means the end of the both of you.
More often than not, women are told that changing a man is an impossible task and whatever they see is exactly what they get. When going on a first date, we are usually so conscious about everything wrong that the guy does that we even forget to enjoy everything else.
Try watching a comedy about romance, it is never wine and roses. Confronted with constant hitches in the relationship, the couple has to deal with a lot of uncertainties and struggle with whether they’ll end up together or not. In most instances, we never see the couple’s commitment to one another and the extent of it. How do they resolve their issues? How do they balance their love life and social life? How much are they willing to sacrifice for each other?
It is no secret that you cannot get a partner who is 100 percent your liking, but that does not necessarily mean that we should roll with everything. There are a few things that you can change about your man, and I know you are asking yourself is it really possible? Yes, girl, it is. These are the occasions where it’s possible to change him and when to definitely walk out.
You Got To Change Him When He is Anxious About Socializing
This is a topic that people don’t often talk about because most people do not relate. There are people that get really anxious when they meet new people. They have trouble making small talk and this would make them distance themselves from other people. This is one thing you can definitely help your boyfriend with and it is very possible to change him. The fact that you would like to change this one thing about him does not mean you are unhappy or bothered, you just want him to get full experiences of being in social places. Going to a party should be something he looks forward to, not sulk when you tell him you want the both of you to attend one of your friend’s birthday party. He will be happy and appreciative of such help since he would also love to have fun.
It’s a Yes on Changing Him If He Has Not Settled On His Career
Of course, behind every successful man, there is a woman. Your man might be unhappy with what he does and maybe often complaining about his work. As a woman, you probably have a clear head and you know how good he is and at what exactly. You can help him see what he needs to do to achieve his goals.
While you are talking about work with him, let him know that you care about him and that is why you want to walk through everything with him. You can even hold his hands as you talk to him just to make him feel safe. He should know that this talk is coming from a place of love and that you want the best for him.
You Should Change Him If He Has Become Unattractive Due To Weight Gain
The one question your friend asks you and you both try to think of an answer to it for hours. How should I tell him he is fat and I don’t like the way he looks? This is such a sensitive topic in relationships that can either make you lose the person you love or make him to what you desire depending on how you approach it. The good thing is, you have been in a relationship with your boyfriend for some time, therefore, you know how he reacts to things. You can use a few clever ways to make him start working out. Invite him to your favorite gym, you can also talk to him about it and be as cautious as you can not to hurt his feelings or ego. You can make it fun for him and it will also bring you closer.
Walk Out Of That Relationship If He Has Not Made A coin In More Than A year
Let’s be honest with each other darling, after a whole year of him not getting a job, what excuse of his will make you understand him more than you already have? It is okay for a man, in fact, anyone, to be jobless for a while. Maybe his contract has just ended, maybe the company he was working for closed down or maybe he was outright fired. He might be going to interviews and not getting the “you have gotten the job” call or he might be looking for work in the wrong places according to his expertise. You have to be very careful with why he is still unemployed after this long, maybe he is outright lazy and keeps failing his interviews because he does not put the effort required in passing them. It’s good to give tough love to someone you love, and that means keep pushing them on getting a job. Most probably when a man sits at home, plays video games while eating crisps on a Monday afternoon and he keeps saying that he is serious about work, just know he is not in any way looking forward to working. So girl, before you start supporting the both of you the next year, you have to know exactly what you are doing first and not find yourself 3years later in a mess you created.
It’s Totally Okay to Change Him When He’s A Great Guy But Introverted
Your boyfriend might one of the best guys you definitely wouldn’t want to lose, a keeper so to say. He is okay when with you but gets bashful when you two are in the company of other people and therefore you end up isolating yourselves just to keep him company. You can help your boyfriend connect with other people on social events or even make him feel comfortable with your friends and relatives. Try talking to him about everything and tell him all the positives of networking. You can insist that you want him to have fun when you go to parties. Be his buffer when you two go to parties and social events, help him make conversations with strangers and let him see that it is not as hard as he thought.
You Have To Change His Unhealthy Eating Habits
Naturally, most women love to take care of themselves, especially their bodies. The way a woman looks matters a lot to her and this is the reason why she is considered the healthiest eater. So, supposedly your boyfriend is the fast food kind of guy and you are a healthy food enthusiast, how do you convert him? What if your boyfriend is the kind of guy you mention having veggie-salad with and he disappears for 2hours? You need a plan and it has to work without him realizing it. Do you have the keys to his apartment? (If yes) Before he gets off work, have some homemade meal ready for him on the dining table. This will show him that he does not need to take fast food and that a home cooked meal is as good. I know you are asking yourself, “why should I cook for him and we are only dating?” I will tell you why, because for a relationship to work someone has to go an extra mile. If this is a man you would like to spend the rest of your life with then you have to put in the work.
Think Of Changing Him If He Thinks Having A Jaw-dropping Wedding Is Unnecessary
You have a great guy and you know it, he believes in the sanctity of marriage and knows you are the woman for him. With all these in mind, you cannot just break it off with him because he thinks you don’t need to have a big wedding, what you should do is change his mind. The biggest mistake women make is trying to use force to change a man, it will never work. The best way to go around this issue is to talk to him about it and let him see where you are coming from. Explain to him why having a good wedding is important to you and what it means for you as a couple. Be ready to compromise some things and listen to his side too.
Start Packing and Walk Out Of That Relationship If He Does Not Value Fidelity
What can you possibly do if a guy does not want to be faithful or make any commitment to you? Absolutely nothing (you could beg him, but are you really that desperate?).
It is not possible to force someone to be where they do not want to be and that means you should walk away when your pride and dignity are intact. There is definitely someone out there who will be more than willing to commit to you and love you like you are supposed to. You should also be grateful that he has been honest with you sooner than finding later on that he has been with other people behind your back.
When He’s Not Close to His Family Just Change Him
It is often said that a man who cares for his family will make a good husband and father, I strongly concur with this statement. For a man you see a future with, do your best to change him when it comes to how distant he is with his parents and siblings. Every family has their own issues, and that is okay (because hey, who is perfect?). Your boyfriend might have problems with his family, but that does not suggest that he should take every chance to avoid them and only visits on Thanksgiving and Christmas. You as the woman need to make efforts to arrange for more regular visits and calls too. This will not only work for his relationship with the family but yours too, they are going to appreciate the effort you put into making their relationship better. Your boyfriend will also get to see you in another light and this is straight up going to bring you two lovebirds closer.
Change Him If He Is Unadventurous
Your boyfriend might be the kind of guy who would skip a camping trip to stay at home the whole weekend eating popcorn alone. Sometimes this can be too boring for you since you want to spend more time with him having fun than sitting in front of a television (am not saying watching ‘tv’ sucks). The two of you need to have an outdoor exercise that you enjoy doing, do it often and let it be a bonding exercise for you. Try to introduce your man to different things, slowly but gradually he will catch up and he will start to be more open-minded. You can even give him suggestions of activities and let him choose which one he wants to participate in. Something else you should definitely do is try inviting friends at your place for dinner, drinking night or maybe game night and he will adjust slowly and start warming up to people.
Walking Out Is Not An Option If He Refuses To Talk About Important Things With You
Communication is the most important part of a relationship and when your boyfriend has a problem talking about vital parts of his life, you should be worried. Two people in love should be able to seat and have a heart-to-heart conversation with one another. When you try telling him about how you feel, and he shrugs the topic off, just know its time to move on. Your man should be able to talk to you about everything, from his stressful day at work to how you compliment his life (yeah it feels so good when he tells you his life has changed since you met, I know right, butterflies).
A relationship with bad communication is dull and boring. When you two are sharing, you get to be there for each other, supporting one another and encouraging each other. You get to celebrate his victories with him. You get to lift his spirits when he is down because he failed in a promotion or even had a falling out with his friend. When he does not tell you anything about things that he is going through it means he is not comfortable with you and that is a sign you should be on your heels.
Find A Way to Change Him If He Is Regularly Complaining
Sometimes your boyfriend might be going through something and instead of talking to anyone about it, he starts to constantly complain about anything. This is not such an attractive thing for anyone and you might find yourself getting irritated by his constant complaining. Save yourself the agony of hearing him complain about how the guy at the grocery shop loves to greet everyone who comes to buy. Talk to him about his complaining and tell him exactly how he makes you feel. Tell him about everything positive he should be appreciative about. Try finding out if there is anything that is stressing him out and how you can help him resolve it. Be candid with him in the most loving way (you don’t want to hurt his feelings you just want him to change).
If He Does Not Respect Your Family or Friends You Should Walk Out
It is impossible to balance between your friends and family, and a boyfriend who cannot stand either of them. (Of course you love him and you thought he was such a good guy) but the fact that he does love let alone respect the people you love is a clear indication that he is not ready to have a serious relationship with you. When he loves you, he is supposed to compromise. The people you love should be as important to him as they are to you. This is a no when you want a stable and peaceful relationship with him. The best thing to do is to walk out of that relationship with your shoulders high knowing it’s the right thing to do.
Help Him Change If He Gets Too Tensed About Everything
Your man might be the kind of person that when he is stressed, it affects the way he relates to everybody. This is definitely not a good thing (let’s face it if he is going to shout at you because he got a disturbing call from work, you should do something about it). Everybody has to face some type of stress every now and then because life is not a smooth ride. You have to help your boyfriend deal with stress appropriately and not get into an argument with everyone close to him. Look for an opportunity (most likely when both of you are in the best of your moods) and tell him how he behaves when worked up and how it affects you and everyone else. Discuss ways with him that he can deal with stress and tension. When you notice he is tensed, try to come up with fun activities for both of you to participate or even make it better by making him his favorite meal (the food will definitely cheer him up).
If He Is Not Supportive You Have To Walk Out Of That Relationship
We all need a shoulder to lean on and when we are dating, that shoulder should be our boyfriend. Someone to call when you are going for an interview and tell him you are uncertain and scared, as a supportive boyfriend he should tell you that you are going to nail it and that he believes in you. When he is not supportive, and he is always negative about the things you are doing, you got to walk out. You already have enough worries about your work, the last thing you need is him pulling you further down with negativity. Relationships like these rarely work because most of the time will be spent fighting, you trying to prove him wrong and him trying to prove himself right (that whatever you are doing is not right for you). He should be supportive regardless of his feelings and if he is not, it’s time to walk out darling.